as you will all have heard, michael jackson has died, aged 50, from a cardiac arrest and consequent heart attack. i heard the news on the thursday night of glastonbury, whilst sat with three irish girls smoking. my sister rang me, and i couldn't hear her, so i told her to text me. when she text me the news, i literally got about twenty five text messages, all saying the same thing. i wish in absolute shock, a massive part of my life had ended. walking through glastonbury as the news spread was a surreal experience - clubs, bars and shops gradually playing mj in absolute sequence..
i woke up at 9AM to go and buy the guardian, just to try and grasp the reality of the situation...it had nothing but a front page, pre written obituary. somebody knew it was coming..
causes of the fatality are still up in air, but a lethal reliance on drug cocktails is the most likely case. michael jackson's music, presentation, magic, genius and stage presence inspired me immeasurabley as a child. the power he commanded over millions of people made me feel powerful, it gave me strength, it made me believe in magic - as a child, through situations that arose and experiences i had, this influence absolutely saved my life. i would not be the person i am today if it weren't for this man, and for that i am eternally grateful. the man may be gone, but the magic is immortal. the well-wished 'rest in peace' sentiment has never seemed more fitting...
ryan and i left lincoln at 6.30AM, and picked up damon, for glastonbury. we drove to nottingham, following owen and tom, and met katy and joe at the train station.
we then drove down to glastonbury - the satnav was rude and interupted conversation...we got a little bit lost - we nearly ended up in bloody cardiff! but, after junction closures and country lane intiative we arrived at around 2PM - managing to sneak in and avoid all queues!
so much happened at glastonbury that i will not be able to recall a day to day description. i will note my highlights though, and all the bands i saw..
maximo park (we stayed for a laugh, but after one song it just wasn't funny)
metronomy
kap bambino
the specials (absolutely amazing, ryan and i had our two step/skankin' on...it's much harder in wellies but much more satisfying)
fleet foxes (brilliant but the pryamid stage was far too big for them - they should have had their slot swapped with lady gaga and played on the other stage)
N*E*R*D (brilliant, the first michael jackson dedication of the weekend, made me quite emotional)
regina spektor (such a beautiful jewish woman, with a lovely voice. her new song 'nobody's laughing at god' is fantastic)
the maccabees (orlando is beautiful)
the horrors (so heavy and atmospheric - i love both albums, but they have elevated themselves with primary colours, and faris rotter is absolutely beautiful)
the dead weather (special guests on the park stage - FANTASTIC. much better than raconteurs - really heavy and bluesy, alison mossheart is gorgeous)
kasabian (terrible)
la roux (AWFUL - made ryan and i fight for six hours)
peter doherty (this is for lovers was one of the first singalongs of the weekend - very good indeed, no i wish though despite the pleadings of the crowd. and very british - ballerinas in union jack dresses!)
bon iver (incredible. one of my highlights. the atmosphere, the space they create, the delicacy of his voice and the words it emits, absolutely outstanding.)
rolf harris (absolutely brilliant - such a warm, funny man. the crowd was MENTAL - well over 70000 people. ryan and i had to literally jump over a bush to get in!)
blur (awful - i will discuss the nick cave - blur saga later in this post)
nick cave (of course incredible, i will again go into detail later in this post)
tom jones (fantastic, his stamina and prowess at 70-odd years old are outstanding! again, a very warm performer...)
the prodigy (INSANE)
bat for lashes (beautiful, another highlight. her voice and the details of her songs are so alluring)
black eyed peas (massive michael jackson tribute - the amount of people who love those songs...)
NICK CAVE - BLUR SAGA
ryan and i were very close to the front for nick cave's amazing set. his dedication to the late, grate farrah fawcett was well recieved. such a heavy, electrifying set - the joy i got from knowing that 2/3rds of the crowd were the for blur, stood shocked and appalled at seeing a near 50 year old demon screaming 'BAD MOTHER FUCKER NAMED STAGGER LEE!' is immeasurable...
warren ellis was on top form, he is amazing. i'm sure bob geldof was on keys...nick dedicates mercy seat to his wife and child - his wife is beautiful, and his son is blonde and completely normal!
after nick cave's 'amazing beyond belief' set, ryan and i tried to escape so that, if i were to have to see some of blur, it could be from a distance. however, the sheer volume of people pushing and shoving was ridiculous - no one was willing to move to let us OUT - IF WE LEAVE, THERE IS MORE SPACE FOR YOU TO GET TO THE FRONT! blur fans are seriously impaired....
ended up getting into an argument with some fat middle aged blur fans who said nick cave was boring. it went something like this:
idiots: what, so you sit through that crap and leave when a real band come on?
me: nick cave would eat blur alive.
ryan: i thought it was oasis who were playing.
me: oh, i thought it was gorillaz.
needless to say etc etc...
FAVOURITE NON MUSICAL MOMENTS OF GLASTONBURY:
1. the enigma that is conrad. i cannot do him justice, but i will say this.
joe: what's the craziest thing you've ever done?
conrad: shagged a fat chick.
me: why was it crazy? did she have a cock?
conrad: no, she had a minge.
just mind blowing...
2. absolutely destroying a michael jackson critic at a campfire. she was being ridiculous, calling him from a pip to a post, even in death.
her: well what's the difference between gary glitter and michael jackson?
me: GARY GLITTER WAS PROVEN GUILTY AND MICHAEL JACKSON WAS PROVEN INNOCENT!
(large applause from around the campfire)
after this debarcle, i went on to play guitar and sing for around two and a half hours - i played a longer set than bruce springsteen!
3. being pissed as a fart and forgetting the words to an acapella rendition of pulp - common people in front of around 300 people. i stumble off, muttering insults...
4. the delight that was the reggae tent - they entice the crowd in with hanson, bon jovi and meatloaf, then when it's packed kick out the hardest reggae and ska - amazing...
5. trash city - such a surreal, amazing creation. apart from the visual wonders, laughing at a man who's name was frank franking for ten minutes was amazing.
6. spray painting 'cunt' on conrad's tent in sunspray at 5am, creeping and giggling like school children...
7. telling a beautiful jewish girl it's ok to be bisexual, if she's sure she is...
8. one pound yoghurt pots - lifesaver
9. the big dog - for £4.50, a foot long baguette with a huge sasauge, chips and cheese all in it, topped with brown sauce, is AMAZING. this is pittance in glastonbury prices..
10. inappropriate high fiving and awful knock knock jokes.
11. the amazing man watching bat for lashes. overhang, bill bailey hair, massive glasses, ear plugs. but he was so into the music, just fantastic.
12. the mental guy ryan and i met on the jazz world field - he had a guitar, he'd gotten in for free, he had my name tattooed on his chest, and he promised us backstage passes for bruce springsteen. wearing a yellow mac in 30 degree heat - mental.
13. the mystery that was camera man brian.
WORST NON MUSICAL MOMENTS
1. the harrowing sight that is looking down in the toilets. NEVER, EVER LOOK DOWN.
2. paying £3.50 for a bottle of coca cola.
3. paying £7.50 for a pack of cigarettes.
4. paying £3 for a tube of pringles
5. paying £1 for a tube of wine gums
6. being tricked into posing with a hard-fi tshirt.
7. the AWFUL rich girl whilst waiting to leave, saying how 'she don't respect people if they don't respect her, you get me?' - whilst referring to gig security. sounds weak, but it was mental.
that's all i can conjure up, for something as big as glastonbury, compared to something as inevitabley small as my human mind, that really isn't bad going.
i arrived home to a pile of around 30 tabloids to dissect the michael jackson tragedy. i went to the doctors yesterday, i have a chest infection and am now on some sort of penicillin concoction.
there has been a significant event that took place whilst i was away, one that involves mistreatment, betrayal and selfishness. it has been heavily recieved, and i love kelly marie millican and christopher alexander buckley with all of my heart.
i must go, i have a rendevous with giles at dogma in precisely 23 minutes.
until next time, here's one of my favourite michael jackson songs -
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